What are alpha women really like?

Let's talk a little about alpha women. Are they women of a typical Italian quarrelsome nature? Or those who always have to be right? Or those who will win in any case? What are they actually like and what are they characterized by? Do you have such women in your neighborhood or are we just one of them? I answer questions from the editors of EMMA magazine.

What are the characteristics of alpha women and what are their characteristics and behavior different from "normal" women?

If we want to think about the qualities of alpha women, it is necessary to realize that the adjective "alpha" comes from professional literature that deals with animal behavior. This designation is typical for the male - the leader of the pack. Only in the last 20 years have we begun to discover this term in psychological literature and research. Typical qualities of alpha women are leadership skills, talent, high level of motivation and self-confidence. This type of designation is mostly associated with women who work in leadership positions. According to several studies, these women show signs of dominance, self-confidence, charisma, desire for self-improvement and learning, signs of extraversion, and sometimes we talk about social aggression. According to several definitions, alpha females are people who are referred to as leaders. They can perceive their superior position and dominance over others, they desire to lead them and at the same time people seek them out and want to be led by them. Alpha women feel extroverted in social situations and have well-developed social skills. At the same time, they believe that men and women are equal. They have high ambitions, a high level of self-confidence, emotional intelligence and several masculine characteristics such as a willingness to take risks, an interest in the success of themselves and others, perseverance and competitiveness. A number of studies indicate that a key characteristic of alpha women is female solidarity. The popular media likes to describe alpha females as sexy and attractive women, but this is a myth. Research shows that women are more accepted in leadership positions if they are not too attractive. However, it is important that they have developed social social aspects of personality such as empathy, morality, the ability to resolve conflicts and altruism.

Do you think alpha women have it easier/harder in life when it comes to partner relationships?

Alpha women need to be seen and heard. They need to be admired. However, this is what every woman in a partnership needs. Women need to feel that they are the only female partner. Alpha women have a more difficult situation in that they are used to being in control. They like challenges and are excited when their partner can stimulate them mentally and cognitively. Often in partner relationships, they act as eternal counter-arguers, but for them it is often just a foreplay and a check of their partner's self-confidence, who should not be afraid to disagree. Since alpha women are in charge most of the time, they like to hand over control to their partner, even in their intimate life. The condition is experiencing emotional security and trust towards a partner at a high level, which may not be typical or problematic for other women. For alpha females, it's a secret dream come true,

Why do some men tend to fear alpha women? What types of men have a problem with alpha women and, conversely, what types of men do such women really impress?

Men's fear of alpha women is mainly connected to their natural characteristic, which is competitiveness. If they meet an ambitious woman, they fear that their role as breadwinner and head of the family will be suppressed. At the same time, they fear failure and lack of respect. And there are also cultural stereotypes and the influence of the social environment, which tells us that a man must be more dominant and his role is given in the position of a leader. Insecure men succumb to comparing themselves with their surroundings and thus cannot handle the power of an alpha woman, which is also transferred to a partner relationship. Recognition of an alpha woman as a leader and her strong abilities is the basis of a strong relationship with self-confident men, who are impressed by such women and who like to put themselves in a respectful role as a supporter of their ambitions and goals.

Can even an insecure and withdrawn woman become an alpha woman? Is it something that is innate, or can it be learned and developed?

Yes. Even an insecure and withdrawn woman can become an alpha woman. Many abilities and skills are learnable and can be developed throughout life. They clearly include empathy, social skills, charisma, emotional intelligence, the ability to resolve conflicts and self-confidence. Even introversion can be transformed into learned extraversion or social exhibitionism. However, it is necessary to realize that many times it is a strenuous and exhausting journey for a person. That is why it is absolutely necessary to know one's own resources from which an alpha woman can draw strength and at the same time the limits that she cannot cross in the long term.

What are the most common mistakes alpha women make in relationships? When do they perhaps overdo it a bit with their self-confidence or independence? And can we even talk about "exaggerating" when they are like that and it's natural for them?

Alpha females often demand excessive respect in relationships. In a certain way, they transfer the social role of a leader to partner relationships, which can discourage men or cause fear in them. They like directness and openness, so it can happen that romantic gestures in a relationship are sometimes foreign to them. On the other hand, they can fall head over heels in love with their partner. If their partner gains trust, they can hand over leadership in the relationship and in their intimate life. A respectful partner can support an alpha woman's healthy self-confidence and bring stability and security to her life. In return, the alpha female is willing to leave the role of leader and does not need to implement exaggerated displays of self-confidence.

Is it better for an alpha female to find an equally alpha partner? Aren't such a relationship prone to frequent conflicts and ego-bumping? Or is it more appropriate if such a woman finds a calmer and more submissive partner? And can such men impress her at all?

For an alpha woman, it is important that her partner be a respectful and equal partner and, above all, provide her with support. An alpha partner for a woman of this type can be a certain source of frustration because he often cannot offer her stability, which is a very important need for her. Being a leader is exhausting for both men and women. And that's why alpha women look for trust, peace and security in their life as a partner. If the partner of an alpha female was a submissive and submissive man, she would cease to be interested in him. Alpha women want their partner to stimulate and support them to grow and develop, without him feeling threatened. A man next to an alpha woman must be balanced, self-confident and rational.

Is our society (in Slovakia) even ready for alpha women? Or is the opinion that the man is supposed to be the dominant and strong one more prevalent in our country? Do you see any shift in this direction in favor of alpha females in recent years?

Female role models and dominant personalities are more typical in Western European countries and the United States of America. This fact is conditioned by the history and at the same time the cultural and social maturity of the people in these geographical areas. In recent years, dominant women are beginning to be portrayed and discovered more prominently in the media and also in cultural expression (films, theater, art). This is already a sign that society is beginning to change. It is probably naive to think that we are moving towards a matriarchy, but sometimes it is good to remember our history and the importance of female figures in history (as evidenced by archaeological finds such as the Věstonická or Moravian Venus) or important female personalities. Currently, our president is a positive role model in Slovakia. Her role and performance point to that even people in the Central European region are beginning to be hungry for female role models again. Practically since the time of Maria Theresa, she is the first important female leader in our country. So a shift in people's mindset is definitely happening.

Do you meet alpha women as patients/clients in your psychological practice? What problems do they most often deal with in relation to their character/strong personality? (anonymously of course)

Of course. Many such women appear among my clients. Most often, they solve problems related to displays of dominance, relationship problems, performance problems and trust in other people. However, it should be noted that this is only a narrow section of clients and should not be taken as a significant sample.

The contribution was created as a basis for an article published for EMMA magazine https://emma.pluska.sk/lifestyle/alfa-zeny-su-sebavedome-samostatne-casto-maju-komplikovane-vztahy-patrite-nim-aj-vy 

PhDr. Ivana Čergeťová, PhD., LL.M., MBA, PCIC

I am a psychologist, NLP coach, attachment-based therapist, career counselor, and academic staff. I have been dedicated to the attachment theory in personal and work settings for over 20 years. I work on this topic not only as a counselor but also as a researcher. Meeting with me can help you if you are seeking an expert in mental health specializing in relationships, communication, and personal development. For more information, follow my social networks @radipsychologicka #attachment #relationships #love #attachment #JoinMeForAdvice #relationshiptherapist #development